The Least of these my Brethren

I received a few stray prison lessons in the mail today. Whenever the girls get mixed up and send lessons to the publishers in Pensacola Brother Jeff graciously sends them to my home. Ordinarily they go to the church, but either way the lessons make it to us.

Carol M, a student from two years ago was back in cell #46 last month after a year and a half absence. (Absence is GOOD - everyone should want to be absent from jail all their life!) She barely let me see her, preferring to listen from her mattress inside the cell during the Bible lesson, but she did stick her head out long enough to say hi, and was surprised when I called her by name. She'd always been a tad shy and reserved. Last week when I went on my scheduled day for July she'd been moved to the trustee cell. And she was no longer just another woman on a mattress, she had taken the role as the spiritual leader of that cell. I was blown away. A big group of ladies hungry to hear from God joined us and Carol no longer hid away, ashamed at being found in jail again, she sat across from me and helped lead discussion.

I was amazed at the transformation in this woman. Here she was, probably in for a drug violation, but stepping up in the worst possible situation to be what God had ordained her to be all along, a natural leader. She'd been leading the cell in Bible study, with nothing but their Bibles, for days. Every woman there was hungry for more of the Word and I wound up leaving many complete lesson sets for them and a couple of Bibles for the newer women.

I'm reminded that God uses the foolish and base things of the world to confound the wise. There's certainly no news camera's going to pick up on this story, I'm just glad I got to see it. My prayer for Carol is that she'll become on the outside what God has shown her to be on the inside, both literally and figuratively.

And I'm a Little Kid at a Three Ring Circus . . .

Life feels like a three ring deal these days. I find myself going through motions a lot and looking forward to less stressful days.

I have to preface what follows with acknowledgment to my daughters and Toby McKeenan. March and April this year found me under all out spiritual attack. I'll pass on what the attack was, but suffice it to say it blindsided me and has given me tremendous compassion for others who are taken and fall in the same snare I struggled with.

The day before Easter (with my head still spinning) I heard what sounded like devil music coming from my daughters room (anybody who knows my daughter knows she's a spiritually minded child so it was more annoyance on my part than a need to chastise) Cindy was visiting and it turned out to be her new Toby Mac cd. "Allright, I know he's scripturally sound, but please keep it down, you know I don't like that stuff"

"Here Mom, listen to this one" Becky fiddled with her cd player, and left me in the room alone. What followed can only be described as a worship service as God spoke to me through the lyrics and I tearfully embraced his message to me. So here's my personal version of the first verse of Lose My Soul:

Father God, I am clay in your hands,
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands,
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me,
And every little thing I make up my mind to be,
Like I'm gonna be a (momma) whose in the mix,
And I'm gonna be a (wife) who stays legit,
And I pray that I'm (a woman) who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love,
Everything that I see draws me,
Though it's only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes- a low blow to purpose.
And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus.

(Chorus) I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul
(repeat)

Two months later the three ring circus is exactly where I found myself. Norman took me to Calloway Gardens on a Sunday afternoon and we attended the circus they have on the beach during the summertime. It was beautiful and well done. We sat on the front row almost dead center of the middle ring. The show was great and the whole time I kept remembering the lyrics wondering if there was something I was missing that God was trying to teach me.

That was a month and a half ago and looking at things now maybe it was prophetic as life sure seems to be a three ring circus these days. Between problems at work, the house repairs and Mike's impending nuptials there's just no letting up or catching up.

I'd love the be the little kid watching all this play out but for now I feel more like the tightrope walker who'll plunge to the depths below if I miss a step. I've had to accept that II Corinthians 9:8 doesn't mean I'll get EVERYTHING done EVERY day. "All sufficiency in all things" means the things of God's choosing, not mine. I cling to the verse that God will not give me more than I can bear. I close with the last words of the song and the rest of my prayer:

Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world,
That fight for our love, and our passion,
As our eyes are open wide and on you.
Grant us the privilege of your world view,
And may your kingdom be, what wakes us up, and lays us down.

The sky fell and we're picking it back up again.

You think by now I'd know to pay attention to quiet little warnings, but on June 30 I was in such a hurry to get out of Dodge I thought, "ya, that's something we need to do," packed up and left. The following Monday I came to work and nothing worked. Nothing. No phones, no internet, the computer wouldn't turn on. I'd been told to disconnect everything and ignored it. And now we'd taken a serious lightening hit.

My dh has steadily been rerouting wires, connecting hubs since then and today after much frustration, my intenet cable came to life and I'm not able to access from work via an ethernet connection. Thank you Lord! It works as long as the poor worn plug connects, that is. Hmmm . . something else to fix!

We wound up going with a laptop and I'll be learning to FTP my data to a secure server from here on out. The biggest challenge has been getting my old software to work with Vista. Me no like Vista, but scraping it and going with XP is even riskier.

Anyway I give a hearty thanks to God who prevented my old hard drive from completely going up in smoke when everything else in my old computer was burnt toast. We were able to save the data and by His mercy, will install it tonite. He even help my DH get Peachtree 2003 installed on this thing. Amen for no small miracle!

Seeing how it's almost 1:am this will be short and sweet. This is the first entry on my new computer. The old one partially fried when the office took the brunt of a lightening storm that took out phones, internet, network cards, switches, etc on July 1. It was a major answer to prayer last week when Norman was able to retrieve my data off the hard drive, but the machine itself is toast. So we're slowly getting back up. I'm excited about having my own notebook.

Briefs on what's currently going on: Becky is in Raleigh with Bonnie and Brian enjoying time with them. They'll take her to the Wilds on Monday where she'll be CIT for two weeks.

Mike and Heather will come next weekend for their wedding shower. Interestingly enough I didn't get an invitation, lol. Bee picnic is the morning of the same day.

Found out tonite that ABA meeting is the same weekend as Honey Festival. How did that happen? So maybe I'll teach on Friday and be in Dothan on Saturday.

Amanda S. spent Friday evening and Saturday with us. We worked hard and had fun too. Military dinner is tomorrow. We're expecting 15-20 people.

That's it. Signing off.