Embracing Nothingness

I ran across a saying recently that’s stuck with me, “When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something.”

“Nothing” fits of late. Life seems to have hit bottom recently and nothing is what I’m down to spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Nothingness seems to be where I’m headed in this life.

"For nothing good have I whereby thy grace to claim. "

So what does “nothing” mean?

"Blessed are the poor (those who have nothing) in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God."

I think of David’s response to Michael’s rebuke – (my paraphrase) “You think I lowered myself doing that? Just wait, I’ll lower myself even more!”

God taught me a long time ago that the proper response to trials and tribulations was to bow to it – to submit to the authority over me (thereby ducking whatever God dishes out) and to hold still and steady till the storm passes. I find myself there again. Everything seems to be crashing around me and I’m powerless to do anything to stop it.

All my theology tells me that powerlessness is a necessary ingredient.

"I am weak but He is strong."

All my theology tells me that everything will be ok.

"Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning."

It’s dark; the nothingness of the night surrounds me and the fears that attack my soul are menacing. But my God tells me that even darkness is light to him and that He’ll never leave me or forsake me. So despite what I see or what I feel, I know He’s there. I can’t see Him, I can’t feel him – I’m really too numb to sense his presence.

Hope eludes me. So I bow low, and wait. He’s up to something. I just don’t know what. And I don’t want to mess it up by doing something stupid. So I wait, and do nothing.