Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

Well, when I first saw the guy I was assigned to sit by on the plane I thought "terrorist".  Middle Eastern, skull cap, beard, black robes. Turns out he even had an accent.  Other  people were trying to avoid looking at him -  I could tell they were uncomfortable.  So I smiled real big and pointed to the seat between him and the window.  He jumped up,  helped me wrestle my bags into place and let me in.

During all this I saw the ornate wooden cross around his neck so I knew something else was up.  After struggling internally a few minutes I jumped in with both feet - "So you're obviously a  man of the cloth -  tell me about yourself."

And he did. This soft spoken gentle man and I had a nice chat about church history, persecution of believers in the Middle East, life, faith, cultural bubbles, scripture, seminaries and teaching tools.  I even recommended a place he may consider as a retreat for the seminary students he teaches.

So that was part of my very interesting day coming home.  I have my doubts  whether an hour beside a crazy Baptist lady will have any impact for him and in the long run, probably not for me either.  But I did see him soften when I told him about "our people" praying for "his people" and I now have a face to go with my brothers and sisters in the Middle East who know better than I what it is to suffer for the Cross.

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Side note added  later.  For the record, six months after this event in February 2015, 21 of "his people", Egyptian Coptic Christians, were captured by Isis in Lybia and beheaded. 

Today is a difficult day for our family. A dear friend is wounded and while there's nothing any of us can do more than pray, we do feel the pain and confusion he/she is probably dealing with. We pray for understanding, wisdom, and that it will ultimatly be one of many events that lead to great good for this person.

Several passages come to mind:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:28 & 29

This gives me hope because I know my God can take the most awful thing imaginable and use it to further his glory in the lives of those who love him.

The other passage is Jeremiah 9: 23 & 24:

Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.

This gives me comfort because I know my God is good despite the tears, what any of us feel or how things appear.

Lastly, Psalms 145:17

The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works.
The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.
He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.
The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy.

This mortal does not have any answers to the big questions of the universe - who, what, when, where and the biggest of all, WHY? But "WHO", (big H), I do know and know well. He is good, he is kind, and regardless of anyone's finite reasoning, loves us even, and especially when we hurt. So with the Sprit's help and in the name of Jesus I cry "Abba!" and cry to him till this cup passes.

And I'm a Little Kid at a Three Ring Circus . . .

Life feels like a three ring deal these days. I find myself going through motions a lot and looking forward to less stressful days.

I have to preface what follows with acknowledgment to my daughters and Toby McKeenan. March and April this year found me under all out spiritual attack. I'll pass on what the attack was, but suffice it to say it blindsided me and has given me tremendous compassion for others who are taken and fall in the same snare I struggled with.

The day before Easter (with my head still spinning) I heard what sounded like devil music coming from my daughters room (anybody who knows my daughter knows she's a spiritually minded child so it was more annoyance on my part than a need to chastise) Cindy was visiting and it turned out to be her new Toby Mac cd. "Allright, I know he's scripturally sound, but please keep it down, you know I don't like that stuff"

"Here Mom, listen to this one" Becky fiddled with her cd player, and left me in the room alone. What followed can only be described as a worship service as God spoke to me through the lyrics and I tearfully embraced his message to me. So here's my personal version of the first verse of Lose My Soul:

Father God, I am clay in your hands,
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands,
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me,
And every little thing I make up my mind to be,
Like I'm gonna be a (momma) whose in the mix,
And I'm gonna be a (wife) who stays legit,
And I pray that I'm (a woman) who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love,
Everything that I see draws me,
Though it's only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes- a low blow to purpose.
And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus.

(Chorus) I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul
(repeat)

Two months later the three ring circus is exactly where I found myself. Norman took me to Calloway Gardens on a Sunday afternoon and we attended the circus they have on the beach during the summertime. It was beautiful and well done. We sat on the front row almost dead center of the middle ring. The show was great and the whole time I kept remembering the lyrics wondering if there was something I was missing that God was trying to teach me.

That was a month and a half ago and looking at things now maybe it was prophetic as life sure seems to be a three ring circus these days. Between problems at work, the house repairs and Mike's impending nuptials there's just no letting up or catching up.

I'd love the be the little kid watching all this play out but for now I feel more like the tightrope walker who'll plunge to the depths below if I miss a step. I've had to accept that II Corinthians 9:8 doesn't mean I'll get EVERYTHING done EVERY day. "All sufficiency in all things" means the things of God's choosing, not mine. I cling to the verse that God will not give me more than I can bear. I close with the last words of the song and the rest of my prayer:

Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world,
That fight for our love, and our passion,
As our eyes are open wide and on you.
Grant us the privilege of your world view,
And may your kingdom be, what wakes us up, and lays us down.

I love the choleric tendancies God programmed me with. While they have caused their share of confusion in the past (like contributing to my doubts about my salvation when I was a kid) they are handy to have in a crisis.

Example: When Becky was hospitalized for a concussion I was the one that was calm and in control on the way to the ER. Never mind she quit breathing on the way. I knew what to do and handled it. My composure was a different story when she was out of danger, but during the crises, God gave me the grace to handle it.

That being said, I've had many after thoughts since my little brush with death. One of the main things I've been hit with is that I'm probably still here because of prayer. So who prays for me on a regular basis? My family and pastor for sure. Beyond that I can't say for sure, for sure. I hate to admit that a lot of times we pray for people when we know there's a need, but not necessarily routinely.

Nobody knew I was sick. So how could they have prayed for that need? Short of the Spirit's prompting, it was impossible.

Lessons learned:

Pray whether you know there's a need or not. There probably is one even if you aren't aware of it and it's probably more serious than you realize.

Prayers from unexpected, unregarded or "other" sources are priceless. Case in point. I get a lesson from DC who is in prison about every 10 days. DC always writes and tells me she's praying for me. Is she? I like to think so. It's possible her prayers are the ones that kept my heart going. I don't know, but I sure plan to ask about it in eternity.

Pray when God brings someone to mind. This can be every time you open your email!! That's not a bad thing. God has a reason for letting you think of that high school friend, or the class bum as the case may be.

Pray through when something or someone is heavy on your heart. There's an old timey thing (I don't know if it's a doctrine or what - I need to study it out) about "praying through." As best I understand it you grab hold of the horns of the altar and don't let go till God gives you peace He's heard your prayers and will handle your request.

Once in a great while God lets you see the result of your prayers in this life. My Mom is pretty much a shut in due to circumstances beyond her control, yet her prayers for others is legendary. She prayed for a young mother she'd met briefly years ago. She had no way of knowing her baby had just been kidnapped. That baby is now a fine man planning his wedding. Back in the 50's she prayed for a baby girl she heard about in the news who was injured and orphaned in a house fire several states away. Years later God saw fit to connect the two of them. Mom's prayers for her to be raised by a loving Christian family had been answered and now that lady has a wonderful family of her own.

I suspect one of the blessings of eternity will be finding such connections and learning the results of our prayers. I love my mom's stories and want my own prayers to be such a blessing to others. It doesn't matter if I don't learn what happens here. The important thing is to PRAY.