Sharing Joseph’s Anguish
I’ve read it hundreds of times – the story of Joseph being sold into slavery, the trials through the subsequent years and the resulting blessings of doing right. There is more to the painful confrontation with his past and subsequent healing and restoration than I recognized before today. You’d think that after all this time I would see the parallels to my own experience.
Wounds – deep wounds caused by betrayal. Wounds that leave your heart injured and your relationship with your betrayers damaged if not broken completely.
So you dig in. You do what’s honorable and right for you to do despite the pain, and go through what's left of your life trying to please God in all that you do. And God is pleased – he wants us to do right and can bless and use us despite painful experiences of the past. The wound gets buried deeper as time and experience crust over it. It eventually becomes a distant memory.
Until it comes back to stare you in the face. There’s no way you can just rush in and embrace the scoundrels who caused you so much pain. No, you hang back, you keep a safe distance and watch. But you don’t trust. You know what they’re really like. You know what they’re capable of.
In Joseph’s case it was having his betraying brothers come to purchase food from him. He was in a position to test them and did just that. Would they abandon one of their own? He kept Simeon to test this. Were they jealous of their father’s favorite son? He gave Benjamin five times as much food to test this. They passed both and it looked good. Just how far they would go do the right thing after all this time was revealed when Judah, the brother who led in his own betrayal offered himself as a slave on Benjamin’s behalf. True repentance had taken place.
The emotions hit Joseph like a freight train and there was no containing the exquisite anguish he carried any longer. There was nothing to do but scream it out. He couldn’t even tell his brothers who he was until it had passed. The buried anguish was released as the healing balm of seeing God right a great injustice was applied.
I have been here. I’ve witnessed the wrong and paid my dues to keep going. I have cried out the old anguish as it was released and known the healing balm of seeing God right a great injustice. No, I didn’t have opportunity to disguise myself or test the betrayers, but God arranged all that. He himself showed this in my presence to open the wound that so desperately needed healing.
So Joseph is not some distant person on a Biblical pedestal to me anymore. He is human. He hurt, he didn’t let it sidetrack him, he allowed God to restore his brokenness and experienced the most acute, exquisite anguish in the process of healing. In that regard he is a kindred spirit. He went on to be a blessing and minister to those who had hurt him. I can only attempt to do as well!
I’ve read it hundreds of times – the story of Joseph being sold into slavery, the trials through the subsequent years and the resulting blessings of doing right. There is more to the painful confrontation with his past and subsequent healing and restoration than I recognized before today. You’d think that after all this time I would see the parallels to my own experience.
Wounds – deep wounds caused by betrayal. Wounds that leave your heart injured and your relationship with your betrayers damaged if not broken completely.
So you dig in. You do what’s honorable and right for you to do despite the pain, and go through what's left of your life trying to please God in all that you do. And God is pleased – he wants us to do right and can bless and use us despite painful experiences of the past. The wound gets buried deeper as time and experience crust over it. It eventually becomes a distant memory.
Until it comes back to stare you in the face. There’s no way you can just rush in and embrace the scoundrels who caused you so much pain. No, you hang back, you keep a safe distance and watch. But you don’t trust. You know what they’re really like. You know what they’re capable of.
In Joseph’s case it was having his betraying brothers come to purchase food from him. He was in a position to test them and did just that. Would they abandon one of their own? He kept Simeon to test this. Were they jealous of their father’s favorite son? He gave Benjamin five times as much food to test this. They passed both and it looked good. Just how far they would go do the right thing after all this time was revealed when Judah, the brother who led in his own betrayal offered himself as a slave on Benjamin’s behalf. True repentance had taken place.
The emotions hit Joseph like a freight train and there was no containing the exquisite anguish he carried any longer. There was nothing to do but scream it out. He couldn’t even tell his brothers who he was until it had passed. The buried anguish was released as the healing balm of seeing God right a great injustice was applied.
I have been here. I’ve witnessed the wrong and paid my dues to keep going. I have cried out the old anguish as it was released and known the healing balm of seeing God right a great injustice. No, I didn’t have opportunity to disguise myself or test the betrayers, but God arranged all that. He himself showed this in my presence to open the wound that so desperately needed healing.
So Joseph is not some distant person on a Biblical pedestal to me anymore. He is human. He hurt, he didn’t let it sidetrack him, he allowed God to restore his brokenness and experienced the most acute, exquisite anguish in the process of healing. In that regard he is a kindred spirit. He went on to be a blessing and minister to those who had hurt him. I can only attempt to do as well!
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