The Whore in My Heart

Yesterday was my week for Prison Ministry. As usual, my dear husband got a few jollies at the expense of unknowing acquaintances with his usual, “she’s in jail’, or “she’s getting out of jail” remarks. God love him.

I’ve taught on women in the Bible for years. It’s a good fit for what I do as there are so very many “bad” (thank you Liz Curtis Higgs) women in the Bible. The message behind the story is always the same: Jesus loves broken women, Jesus loves YOU, and died to get you back.

So yesterday’s spotlight was on the wife of Hosea, Gomer. The story is never easy for me as I can’t relate to a woman who would leave her husband and children for any reason. And it’s tough because of the way it’s written. The verses in the book jump back and forth from Gomer and Hosea to God and Israel, then back again. Another reason it’s hard is because a precious family member is going through the fire in his marriage because his wife thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, very similar to Gomer.

And it’s tough because the wild life and lovers and desire for independence that called to Gomer call to me.

Don’t get the wrong idea - I don’t know any bad men seeking unholy fulfillment. But just like Israel left her God to go chasing (whoring) after the pleasures and false gods of the world, I find my own heart pulled every day away from God in more directions than I care to confess.

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love!”

I’m sure Gomer had no way of knowing that her decisions would ultimately lead to an auction block, her beauty gone, hands tied and barely looking at the ground as people bid on her. The humiliation had to be excruciating. I wonder how she felt when she heard a familiar voice in the crowd outbidding everyone else . . . and I wonder what went through her mind as she heard fifteen silver pieces deposited with the auctioneer, and watched a years worth of food traded as her husband bought her back. Was he going to beat her? Would he invoke the ancient law and have her executed?

No. She was restored, and cherished.

“Such love constrains me.” Gomer reminds me again that nothing, absolutely nothing, will fulfill my heart and my life except relationship with my God. The price he paid to get me off the auction block was heaven's ultimate sacrifice. How can I not love him?